Have gun, Will travel

Sunday, March 29, 2015

March 2015 posted at 4:47 AM

This week has been a dark week.

From the moment my mother banged on my door shouting "MM Lee is dead!" at 6AM on Monday morning, I knew deep down that this week was not going to be an ordinary week. After all, the founder of modern Singapore was no more and that calls for grief and mourning that should not be held back.

As a 18 year old, turning 19 this year, I can safely say that I have been more of a recipient of the fruits of Mr Lee's guidance than someone who has been there to participate in Singapore's long journey of transformation from fishing village to first world metropolitan city. And because of that, I am thankful that MM Lee's life work has allowed all of us young people to enjoy a life in Singapore that is safe and conducive for our daily activities. It's weird however, that even though most of us probably have not seen him in person before, we all feel a sense of connection to this person who appears more on our textbooks than on television in his later years. I remember on Tuesday, I was helping my tutee with her Math homework when there was this page that required her to answer this question, "Who is the first Prime Minister of Singapore?" by solving simple equations which answers would give her a letter to fill in the blanks with. Then I realised, without even looking, MM Lee was everywhere. Every HDB building, every tree, every step we tread on in the MRT stations, they are all results of his endless hard work and dedication.

I sat crying on my bed on Monday, for half an hour, not knowing what to do. The first feeling I felt was utter sadness, and then the next, insecurity. And these two feelings resided in my heart for the whole week, even till now as I'm writing this, and they probably won't disappear for a long time from now. The man who first ruled this nation is gone, who will be there to guide us now? Who will the ministers consult when troubles arise? I'm certainly not doubting the abilities of our current ministers, but it is the truth that they have been all inspired and benefited from the teachings of our former minister mentor, who will they turn to now that (quote our dearest PM Lee, who I now so deeply admire for his professionalism during the past week) "The light that has guided us has been extinguished." Yet again, who knows what the future holds? We can only have faith in our government that they continue to uphold MM Lee's spirit.

On Friday, I finally managed to take the time off to pay MM Lee my last respects. Even till then it felt surreal that he had really passed on. For some reason, my heart was probably still struggling with the fact that he had died and my mind probably refused to accept it. Strangely enough, I was at peace when I was queueing outside the Parliament House. Walking along Singapore river, I looked at the Merlion, with its endless stream of water spewing out of its mouth, the esplanade, the Marina Bay Sands buildings, the Fullerton Hotel. I took it all in. Singapore really has advanced this far, huh, I thought, my mind comparing the scene I was seeing then to the pictures of Singapore as a fishing settlements I saw on Twitter the night before. That instance, I felt nothing but gratefulness towards the people that contributed to Singapore's current success. I thought I had come to terms with it, because I was smiling inwardly then. But then, it hit me hard when the casket came into sight, with the Singapore flag draped over it. I was rushed forward by the guards, and quickly, I made a 45 degree bow in the direction of the casket. There he is, MM Lee is no more. My mind finally registered the truth. There's no running away. Tears filled my eyes as I made my way out and I tried so hard not to let my tears fall in front of the many ministers seated there.

Dear Mr Lee Kuan Yew, do you see this. How close to a million people have grieved over you for the past week? Do you see the impact of your rule? If only you could live to see how grateful we are towards you, MM Lee. Dear Mr LKY, I'm not religious. But I hope that now, you are resting well beside your wife perhaps in a happier world. This long rest is one that you truly deserve. You have inspired generations of people living within this island state and your dedications and perseverance is one that all of us should emulate.

Rest assured that you won't ever have to rise from your grave MM Lee. Thank you for all you've done and please, rest in peace. 您辛苦了，请您一路走好。